How We Work
by Ellixer
Summary: Gabrielle confesses.
1. Chapter 1

Title: How We Work

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: Somewhere I don't care which season, but it's a first time story.

The scraping of stone against metal is all I can seem to hear. She's doing her nightly routine, but for some reason it's getting on my nerves tonight. I tried to write, but the words that came out were ones that I could never say. I should write the truth, not fiction. So now I focus on the flames; the way they dance as if moving to music. But still, that sound of her sharpening her sword is grating on my ears.

Pushing myself up from the ground, I walk off into the trees. In very few steps I reach the clearing that juts out into the darkness. It's a small bluff overlooking the ocean; I can hear the water crash on the shore below me. The breeze is cold causing me to shiver, but I don't mind; it creates a small distraction for my thoughts. My legs hang over the edge of the cliff, swinging back and forth in the wind.

Sometimes I wonder how two people who are so different are able to function. We are polar opposites, but that seems to draw us closer. We each have something the other doesn't, balance. If Xena hadn't come along, would I still have left my little village? Probably, eventually. But would I have learned as much, or be as happy as I am now? That I can't really say, but after knowing Xena I find it hard to imagine life without her. It's crazy; she's the cause of most of the turmoil that I'm always fighting inside.

It wasn't till the Amazons taught me their culture and laws that I began to question things. I've always felt love for Xena, but I was never aware that one woman can love another in the way that she might a man. Only then did I start to realize that I loved her more than just a friend. She sits next to me and still my thoughts can be completely consumed by her. It's like one day I woke up to a whole new world; it was intoxicating and suffocating at the same time.

She has become my best and only true friend. I trust her with my life and there is no one else I can say that about. But to try and deal with these overwhelming feelings and know that it's something that can never be; it is at times heart wrenching. I take what I can get, and I cherish every single moment.

Being a bard has its drawbacks. I think and imagine everything; my brain is in a constant state of overdrive. So to stop my more than friendly thoughts of the woman I travel with, it's like asking me to stop breathing.

I get up and walk back towards camp. Don't want Xena to worry about what I might be doing out there in the dark. If only she knew, those times are when I feel I can freely think about her. When I get back, she isn't there. Probably off burying the scraps somewhere away from camp. It's not fun to wake up to animals looking at you like food.

She comes back and I give my best smile, just to stop any questions that are ricocheting in her head. I pull a fur over my head as she strips down to her leathers and lays next to me. I don't exactly when we started sleeping with our bedrolls together. I just realized one day as I lay on my back looking at the stars that we somehow had migrated closer. It was probably just a need to share body heat on a cold night, but it's as if we've always done it this way.

I'm trying to will myself to sleep, but I can feel her staring at the back of my head. I can feel the question coming, it radiates off her like a toxic fume and it is making me sick. My stomach begins to turn as I try and think of noncommittal answers to keep me safe in my hiding place.

'Gabrielle.' I swallow hard. 'I know you're awake.'

'Yeah.' I relent but I will not turn to face her.

'What's wrong?'

'I'm just tired.' There is a sigh of frustration, she doesn't buy it.

'Gabrielle.' I love it when she says my name. 'Talk to me.' Her voice becomes softer, I can hear the concern she expresses. I contemplate what to say.

'It's better if you don't know.' It is. I feel her sit up, her body leans into mine. I refuse to turn.

'If you've done something, whatever it is, I don't care. Just tell me or I can't help you.' Always the savior.

'No it's nothing like that.'

'Then what is it?' She's both confused and dumbfounded as to what it is I wont speak of.

'Xena, are you my friend?'

'My best friend, you know that.' There was no hesitation in her response.

'I think we should keep it that way then.' I pull the fur tighter around me hoping she'll leave it. She sigh's again and sits there for awhile. Relief floods through me when she finally lays back down. I know she's going to think about this all night, but at least I get a small reprieve. My eyes close and I pray for sleep. I can feel her thinking next to me though.

'No!' She shouts sitting up and grabbing me. Xena pulls me up into a sitting position, forcing me to look at her. To say I'm surprised is an understatement. 'Look I don't know what it is, but you better tell me.' I feel like her eyes are boring into me. I can't look at her, I'm afraid I might cry. 'Gabrielle?' Her voice has calmed, her hand slides through my hair.

'I've learned things about myself that I never dreamed of.' I can barely get these words out, my voice is nothing but a whisper.

'Whatever it is….'

'What would you say if I told you I was in love with a woman?' I can feel she's a little taken aback.

'I don't care as long as your happy. Unless it's Najara. It's not Najara is it?' She lifts my chin to meet her eyes. I can't help but laugh a little.

'No it's not Najara.' Her body visibly relaxes, but she's still confused.

'Why would you think I'd care?' Why isn't this enough of a confession? I don't want to say any more.

'Can't we just leave it at that?'

'No, because there's something more.' How come she can see straight into me sometimes, while other times it's like I'm not even here?

'Xena, please..' I just want to lay back down but she wont let me.

'You can tell me anything.' Her head dips as she tries to look in my eyes, but I refuse to comply.

'Xena…..' The ramifications are too much to think about.

'What?' Her hand cups my cheek. I'm finding it to be too much; I can't hold back the tears anymore.

'I love you.' The words sound so foreign in my ears.

'I love you too.' She doesn't get it.

'No, I love you.' Finally I manage to look her in the eyes. The confusion slowly disappears as she finally begins to realize what I'm trying to say.

'When?' Her face is unreadable now. I shrug.

'Always I guess, I just…'

'Go ahead.' She urges me, and I'm surprised to find only kindness in her voice.

'I didn't know it was something that could happen.' She gives me this smile as if I'm the most naïve person alive.

'What? Women being together like a husband and wife?' I nod mutely, shifting my eyes away. She begins to laugh. Her head drops down to my shoulder, seemingly unable to control the reaction she is having.

'I'm not sure what's so funny…'

'No, I'm sorry.' She looks up at me. 'I was just thinking of all these things. I'm relieved.' I can't help but feel slightly miffed.

'Xena I just told you I love you.' She runs her hand through her hair.

'I was thinking maybe you killed someone, and then I thought it was Najara, the scenarios kept getting worse.' She sighs in relief, but I'm far from it. 'Don't scare me like that.' Her laughter fades and she begins to look more serious, though the grin never leaves. While before I was afraid of how serious she would take this, now I feel she is taking it too lightly.

'Goodnight Xena.' I growl at her, pulling the blanket over me as I lay down.

'Hey, what?' I'm just going to ignore her now.

Cont?


	2. Chapter 2

How We Work 2

I refuse to talk to her. I spill my soul and her reaction is to laugh. It seems like she doesn't know she's even done anything wrong. There are fleeting attempts to talk to me but I've put myself behind the most impenetrable castle walls.

I focus on the leaves that fall, swishing through the air till they hit the ground. The day is moving so slow, it feels like it may never end. When it does, am I going to be forced to talk to Xena again? After unloading a burden, things are supposed to feel lighter. The burden seems heavier than ever. I guess given time, we both may forget what I said; or we can at least pretend.

We reach a village with an inn we can stay at. We stop and eat in the tavern in relative silence. After our meal, she goes up to the room but I stay. There's a mug of Meade in one hand, and a quill in the other. I think it's time I wrote what's on my mind. I don't care what others think, no one has to read it.

_There are a couple of questions one must ask themselves when they fall in love. What kind of person is this that has captured your heart? A warrior, a priest, a king or a peasant? You love a warrior and life is short and full of trials and pain. You love a priest, but can that priest love anything but his religion? A king can provide you with comforts but most often not his heart. A peasant will work hard and love hard, but if things don't go right he will fall apart._

_So where does that leave you? I guess the question is; can love be enough to overlook these faults. Should it be enough? I ask myself every day when I see the one I love. But not only that, can they love me with as much fervor as I do them? Love can be forbidden at times, I've seen it with my own eyes; the prince who loves the peasant; the boy who loves the enemy's daughter. The restrictions are put on them by others, but they choose their own definition of what love should be._

_My definition has changed as I've traveled. I learned that you can love anyone, even if it goes against everything you were taught. Is it a cruel joke put forward by fate, or is it a test to see how strong you really are?_

_So I say the words 'I love you,' and still I'm left with nothing and no answers._

I don't feel this is helping any, I just want to go to bed and let another day begin. Before I move someone sits down next to me. It's a man, more of a boy really, with curly blond hair and dimples in his cheeks. He looks like a farmer's son, someone my parents would want me to marry.

'You're not from around here are you?' His smile is sweet.

'No, I'm passing through with my friend.' He does his best to flirt, throwing out his best pick up lines, and paying for more drinks. I know I should like this at least a little but I merely find it annoying. I'm polite and answer his questions. He's looking at me like a love-struck fool and I wonder if this is what I look like around Xena. I listen to him tell stories that make him look like a brave man. It's probably all fake and I could care less. He wants to kiss me so I let him. There's nothing there, not that I thought there would be. He on the other hand looks even more enamored and moves in closer. Sigh. It's time for bed, and no he can't come. As I climb the stairs, I'm plagued by doubt and fear about my future with Xena.

She's slumped in a chair by the fire as I come in, very much awake. I can feel her eyes track me across the room as I make my way to my bed. I sit down and pull my boots off, discarding the scroll on the floor. I think I'll burn it in the morning.

'Gabrielle.' Her voice is a low grumble.

'Xena, I'm tired.' I sigh, falling back onto the bed

'We need to talk.' Her voice is firm, but not angry.

'I don't want to.' There's silence. I hope that means she's giving up. But of course I'm wrong. I feel the weight of her body as she sits on the edge of the bed. She just sits there, not saying a word. Grrrrr. 'What Xena?' I sit up, my head is a little woozy at the quick movement, or maybe it's the alcohol I was drinking. She studies my face for a moment.

'How much did you drink?' Is that what this about?

'I don't know.' My head only feels a tiny bit fuzzy. She's analyzing me again. 'Is that all you want?' She sighs and turns.

'No.'

'Well?'

'What you said last night. I wasn't laughing at you.'

'Ok, I forgive you.' I lay back down. Sleep is all I can think about right now.

'Gabrielle, I'm serious.' Grrrrrr.

'Say whatever it is.' I think I may have drank too much. As I look up at her I just want to kiss her, and I'm on the verge of doing just that.

'Can you sit up?' I feel like I'm talking to my mother for a moment, but I comply. She shifts around as if uncomfortable, I just stare at her. For right now, this moment I don't care what I think or feel I just let everything flow through me.

'Did you mean what you said?' She asks turning, eyes narrowing at me. I just nod my head numbly, I'm only half paying attention. It's probably not a good thing I drank so much; I might just make a fool out of myself. 'Then why were you down there kissing that kid?' Do I hear disappointment? I can't help but laugh.

'Spying on me?'

'Don't change the subject.'

'I wanted to see something.' I sigh, I'm not sure I'm making sense.

'See what exactly?' I feel like her eyes are boring holes into me.

'If I felt anything.' My head spins a little.

'Did you?' I laugh again, this is so stupid.

'Not a thing.' Where is this line of questioning going? She sighs as if frustrated.

'Gabrielle are you drunk?'

'Noo.' I'm beginning to think that I need to be.

'Tell me again.' Her voice becomes a whisper.

'What?'

'What you said last night.'

'I said I love you.' Sigh. What is she trying to prove here? That she wasn't listening, or does she just want to laugh some more? I'm becoming impatient, I start curling my hair with my fingers.

'This is not going how I want.' She growls to herself standing up. But she doesn't go to her bed, she just begins to pace in front of me. There's still music drifting up from the tavern below so I begin to bob my head to the beat.

I watch her walk back in forth in front of me, brow furrowed, hands wringing. I've given up any hope of sleeping, she's not going to let me. But I refuse to say anything, I have no idea what she wants me to say. She suddenly stops and crouches down in front of me.

'Can you just listen to me for a minute?'

'Ok.' I'm not doing anything else. Her eyes search my face.

'When you say you love me, do you mean as more than a friend?'

'Didn't I tell you all this last night?' I definitely need another drink to get through this.

'Tell me again.' She looks as if she's losing patience with me.

'Yes, I love you as more than a friend.' She looks at me a moment then is suddenly leaning towards me. I'm confused so when her lips touch mine I can't even react. I'm too surprised to really enjoy it, and its over way too soon.

'Well?'

'Well what?' I must be having some sort of nightmare.

'Did you feel something?'

'That's a stupid question.' She slaps her forehead in exasperation.

'We need to talk when you're sober.' She gets up and stomps towards her bed. I'm not entirely sure what just happened.


	3. Chapter 3

How We Work 3

I swear I didn't drink that much, but my head feels like a centaur is stomping around in it. I'm not sure if the pounding sound is coming from outside or if it's just in my skull. Xena of course, being the nice person she is, made we wake up as soon as the sun peaked over the horizon. I refuse to get out of my bed, and she refuses to let me sleep. This is a war I plan on winning.

'You ready to talk yet.' I think she's yelling.

'No.' My stomach churns in protest; moving my eyes makes me sick.

'Well, since you're not going anywhere.' She drags a chair over to the bed and sits down. 'About last night..' I can only remember bits and pieces but I'm pretty sure I didn't make a fool out of myself. 'Do you remember anything?'

'Sort of.' Now I remember the scroll I wrote and look all over the floor frantically. Xena is sitting there with a smug look on her face. My stomach is beginning to protest again so I give up my search. 'Don't you have anything you can give me?' I wrap my arms around my stomach and curl into a ball.

'Yes, but I'll only give it to you after we talk.'

'Did you take a special class on torture?' I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the bile down.

'What I was trying to say last night,' She pauses a moment. 'I just wanted to say I love you too.' She says it nonchalantly like she's telling me to buy some bread.

'That's nice, can I have the medicine now?' She growls at me.

'Gabrielle, can we act like adults for a minute.'

'Are you calling me a child?!' In a momentary lapse in sanity, I jump to my feet pointing my finger at her. This, I would realize later, was not a good move to make. There's a rush of bile and I run to the nearest wash basin. It is not a pretty site. What the hell did I eat?

After a minute it feels like it's stopped. I'm not sure there's anything left to vomit up anyway. I crawl myself over to the bed and pull myself up on it.

'Feel better?' Xena hasn't moved from her chair.

'No.' I do, but she seems too satisfied with herself right now.

'You know I'm not one for sentiment and you are making this very hard for me.'

'I am?' What the…..

'Yes.' She crosses her arms in front of her chest, one eyebrow cocked up. I want to die, I want to die right now.

'Just hurry up.' It feels as if there might be something left in my stomach after all. I can hear her chuckle. This is not funny. She hands me a cup. I sniff it, but I have no way to tell if it's poison.

'Drink it.' Well if I die, my suffering will end. It takes time but I manage to get the tea down and soon I can't keep my eyes open. In my dreams, Xena is torturing me. This does not make for a very restful sleep.

When my eyes open again it's dark. I feel considerably better but my head still has a bit of an ache. Slowly, I sit up and look for Xena who's sitting by the fire repairing her leathers.

'How long have I been asleep?'

'All day.' She chuckles softly. 'Feeling better?'

'Yeah, thanks.'

'There's some water there.' Her head jerks towards the table nearest me where a jug and cup sit. At first I'm a bit wobbly, but my legs steady under me and I make it to the table. 'Don't drink too much.' I pour a dribble into the cup and sip at it. I sit in the chair across from Xena, not really wanting to make eye contact. I know she's gloating; I don't need to see it.

'Can we talk now?' Her voice is considerably nicer than it was earlier. She lays her leathers down next to her and leans toward me. I nod, all the fight has gone out of me. 'Gabrielle.' Her hands encompass one of my own. Now I look up. There's a small smile on her face, and her eyes show nothing but tenderness.

'I understand how you feel.'

'What do you mean?' Is she talking about the hangover, cus I bet she has had some major ones.

'I feel things that I never thought I could feel.' She pauses, eyes searching mine. 'Love has always been a foreign concept, something that I would laugh at as a weakness and exploit in others. But you...' She moves her chair closer, closing any space that was between us. 'I feel something every time I look at you, and I know I couldn't live without you.' I think I'm going to cry. Her eyes are sparkling at me, she looks so earnest.

'I love you.' She says this slowly and with an intonation I've never heard before.

'You? Love me?' I point to myself as if it could be someone else. She just nods her head, a hand coming up to caress my cheek. I am definitely going to cry. 'What are you saying?' I stutter as I try to get the words out.

'I'm saying I'd kiss you but…' She points to her mouth. It takes a second for me to understand what she's trying to say. I get up quickly and swish some water in my mouth.

'Better.' I say, nodding fervently as I sit back down. I swear if this is real, I'm going to pass out. In an excruciatingly slow movement, she leans forward and gently kisses my lips. It's so brief and so soft, I barely feel it. I think I've stopped breathing. Now I am crying, I just can't hold them back anymore. She looks at me worried.

'Why are you crying?'

'Why couldn't you have told me that a long time ago?' I'm blubbering.

'I didn't think you felt the same way. You got married for Haedes sake.' I blubber even more. 'What?!'

'Well I got married because I never… how was I supposed to know?'

'Well how was I supposed to know?' We're staring at each other in shock then we both begin to laugh. I feel so stupid all of a sudden.

'Xena.' I sigh her name, shaking my head. She reaches up, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

'You should probably try and get some more sleep.'

'No.' I shake my head. I start to look around. I spot a bit of bread sitting on the table, taking it I shove it in my mouth.

'What are you doing?' She smirks. I'd try to tell her but my mouth is full and I'm trying to swallow. When I get the bread down I take another drink of water. I may not be minty fresh, but it's better than nothing.

'I'm ready.' I sit straight up in my chair looking at her expectantly.

'Ready for what?'

'Uh the kiss.' Duh.

'Ohhhhh.' She grin as she leans forward. She inches from my face and I can't help staring at her lips. 'Are you sure.' It's a breathy whisper, her voice low and lusty.

'Very.' I'm not sure where my confidence has suddenly come from but I embrace it. I lick my lips in anticipation, waiting for her to close the distance between us. It seems like an hour, but it couldn't have been more than a few seconds when her lips finally meet mine.

It's soft and sweet, but we both get over the initial awkwardness and jump right in. I'm not the most experienced kisser, but I know enough. My lips part allowing her tongue access which she takes full advantage of. It's like she's exploring my mouth with every movement of her tongue and it makes me want to melt. I grasp at the back of her head, wanting so desperately to be closer. We only part when neither of us can breathe anymore. Our foreheads rest against each other's, both of us panting as if we just fought a battle.

'And you never told me _why_?' I can't help but grin at her.

'I'm stupid.' She whispers, letting her lips graze against mine.

'So what does this mean?' There are so many implications to this one little act.

'It means I get to kiss you.' I'm lost once again as she captures my lips in a fervent kiss. Anything bad is so far away right now.


	4. Chapter 4

How We Work 4

'I'm Joxer the Mighty….' His voice trails off to our left and I can't help but sigh in relief. There is only so much of him I can stand. I love the guy, but he is overwhelming sometimes. Xena and I are walking in silence now. We never hold hands but we are always close enough that our hands and arms brush. Occasionally, if I'm lucky, Xena will link one of her fingers with mine; but she has to be in a really good mood to do this, which was once. Even if there isn't a soul around for miles no one can see her do this, I guess a rabbit could see her being affectionate walking down the road and it'd have to die.

'Mother should be happy to see us.'

'I'll be happy to eat her food.' I rub my stomach for effect as Xena grins. We're silent again for a minute.

'You know.' Xena scratches her head and looks everywhere but at me. 'We can share a bed if you want.' She's rubbing her neck in embarrassment. While outside we may sleep next to each other, we have never shared a bed.

'I'd like that.' I nod my head looking at her, but she still refuses to make eye contact. I thought I would be the awkward one. We've not gone far in our relationship, if you can call it that. Too many things have happened, have kept us from moving forward. We operate nearly the same as always, though Xena seems slightly more protective now. I wonder, given time to grow, how will that affect us?

I decide to try and break the silence by telling her a story. Something I only recently came up with. She's obviously relieved by the change in subject and can seem to look me in the eye again. I'm surprised that she actually seems to be listening to me too. The time passes with relative ease and we reach Amphipolis in no time.

'Stable Argo, I'll go find Mother.' Xena jogs off towards the tavern without even waiting for a reply. Once I get Argo settled I have a hard time carrying all our bags in. I make three attempts to carry them all, but I don't make it very far. A young man jogs over to me smiling.

'Here let me help you.' Who am I to argue. He grabs all of the bags, tossing them over his shoulders. 'Where to?' I just nod towards the tavern and he jovially walks with me.

'Thank you. I was having a really hard time.'

'Oh no problem.' I think he is puffing his chest out. I hold open the tavern door for him and he sits everything on a table. 'So ummm would you mind some company for dinner.' He's so sweet.

'I'm sorry, I already have some.' I can feel Xena's glares from across the room. I begin to reach for a dinar but he puts his hand over mine.

'No it was my pleasure to help such a beautiful lady.' He lifts my hand to his lips kissing it, then stumbles back out of the tavern. I can't help but be flattered. Of course when I look over at Xena I have to pretend I'm horrified. She does not look at all happy.

I walk up to the bar where she leans, and sit on a stool. She's just glaring at me, and it's beginning to make me squirm.

'He was helping me. I couldn't carry them all.' I laugh nervously. I clear my throat and try to change the subject. 'So where's your mom?'

'Kitchen.'

'Hey I can't help it if I'm beautiful and attract men like flies.' Xena snorts, a grin finally forming on her face.

'Oh Gabrielle, there you are.' Cyrene comes out of the kitchen, arms already wide for a hug. I meet her halfway and she engulfs me in a tight embrace. 'You look good.' She pulls away inspecting me. I blush a little. She's always so nice to me. She moves away, back to the other side of the bar. 'So how long are you guys going to stay?' Xena shrugs.

'Haven't decided. We were hoping for a break.' Cyrene turns to me again.

'Are you going to visit your family sweetheart?'

'Umm no.' Her face falls.

'Why not?'

'They don't really like Xena.'

'Well she can stay here.' She's looking back and forth between us.

'I'd rather not.' The wheels are turning in her head, trying to figure out why. She just nods slowly.

'Ok hun, whatever you want. Xena, your rooms is always ready. Go ahead and take your things up. Dinner won't be for a while so take a nap.' She smiles at us before turning and disappearing back into her kitchen. Xena looks at me with her eyebrow cocked up.

'What?' I didn't do anything.

'Come on.' We grab the saddle bags and journey upstairs. Xena's room actually has a big bed and a little cot. Cyrene had put it in there for me after my second visit and I've used it ever since. This time that is where we dump our bags. I flop onto my stomach on the bigger bed. I watch as Xena takes off her various bits of armor pieces.

'You know, I think I'm so tired I might skip supper.' Xena mocks amazement at me.

'You? Not eating?' She's looking at me as if shocked. I just slap her arm.

'Don't be a brat.' She chuckles and lays down, fingers laced behind her head. I move myself so I'm cuddled against her, head on her chest, leg wrapped around hers.

'Don't drool, you'll ruin the leather.' She whispers down at me.

'Xena, shut up.' My eyes refuse to stay open a second longer.


	5. Chapter 5

How We Work 5

I wake up alone and in the dark. To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. The bed is cool where Xena should be, so she's been gone for a while. I get up and light a couple of candles, bringing a little light into the room. The door creaks open; Xena appears carry a tray of food and drinks. She comes in, closing the door with her foot.

'It's pretty busy down there.' She gives me a small smile. 'I figured we could eat up here.' To me this would be romantic, but to Xena this may just be practical. She sits the tray on the bed and begins to pull her boots off. I crawl up to the head of the bed and grab a mug of port. I look at the bowls on the tray and it looks like Xoirino frikase. Nice and hot too. Xena pulls a chair up next to the bed.

'Your mom doesn't mind?' I grab a pita and dip it into the juices. Xena shakes her head.

'No, she suggested it.' That makes sense, and it also makes me slightly disappointed. We eat in silence for a little; and I get the feeling that Xena is tense.

'You alright?' I stop eating and look at her. Xena however continues to shove food in her mouth and won't make eye contact. Not a good sign.

'Yeah, course.' She acts like it's a stupid question. So I try to change the subject.

'Think winters coming early.'

'Yeah.' Ok this isn't working either. I continue to eat but I don't take my eyes off her.

'Xena?'

'Hmm?'

'There's a Bacchae standing behind you.'

'Ok, good.' She nods her head.

'I'm getting married tomorrow and I'm moving to Rome.'

'Yeah ok.' This is what she sounds like when I'm telling her stories on the road. I know she's not listening to me, but it helps me work through my ideas. She can be so frustrating sometimes. We finish eating so I offer to take the dishes back down.

The tavern seems quiet now, there's only a smattering of people. Cyrene is at the bar wiping it down.

'Oh you didn't have to bring that down.' She grabs the tray from me as I sit on a stool.

'Xena said it was busy down here.' Cyrene gives me a little chuckle. 'And that eating upstairs was your idea.'

'It was.' She nods. I raise my eyebrow in question. She leans in close, clasping my hands in hers. 'Look honey, I've been around and I know a thing or two. I'm not as closed minded as others and I love you like a daughter.' I smile at this. She's always been so kind to me, but I don't understand where she's going with this. She seems to notice my confusion and pats my hands. 'Follow me.' She jerks her head. I get up and follow her through the kitchen, out into the back where her garden flourishes. She pats a bench so I sit down next to her.

'Gabrielle, Xena may have loved in some sense before, but I don't think she has ever loved anyone like she loves you.' She smiles as the shock explodes on my face.

'Wha…' She pats my knee.

'She may be a big bad warrior on the outside, but sometimes she can be very fragile on the inside. I think she's afraid of hurting you, of getting hurt, of a lot of things. This is something very new for her.' I never really looked at it that way. I mean I did sort of, but not to any real extent. She's Xena, former Warlord who has, I'm sure, had any man or woman she came across. While I, on the other hand, had one man for one night. And she's the fragile one; whodda thought?

'You have been very good for her.' She brings her hands up, clasping my face. 'No matter what, you are family. I know you will be gentle with her heart, but she may be a little rough with yours at first.' My eyes water a little.

'That may be an understatement.' I chuckle. I know loving Xena is going to come with some pain. Cyrene pulls me into a hug which I gladly accept. 'I only wish my parents were as accepting.'

'Give it time.' She assures as she pats my back. 'Now I better get back to my customers.' She kisses my forehead and walks back into the kitchen. The night is cold but clear so I don't feel like moving yet. The sky is littered with stars which always seem to mesmerize me. What is really up there? A blanket wraps around my shoulders and Xena sits down next to me.

'Wondered if you got lost.' She gives me her little grin.

'No, I was just talking to your mother.' She just nods at this so I turn my eyes back to the night sky. She begins pointing out different shapes and stars, like she does every night. You'd think I would remember them, but I purposely don't. I like it when she does this.

I drop my eyes, staring at my boots as I kick at the dirt. 'Xena, you know I can sleep on the cot.' Her head whips around as I look back up.

'Why?' Her voice is even.

'If you're uncomfortable or anything…' She sighs, her head swivels back away

'What did you and my mother talk about?'

'Nothing…..really…much.' Xena turns, her eyes glare at me. She's trying to break me, to get me to crack.

'I think I'll go have a chat with mother.' She has that feral, evil sort of smile on her face as she stands up and walks away. I need a quick exit. I can't go in through the kitchen, so there has to be a way out of the garden. I start searching for a gate and finally find one hidden behind a bunch of vines. I scoot out finding myself behind the stables. I've never actually been back here before, and I'm wishing I had brought the blanket with me. And, it's creepy in the dark.

I try to creep through the darkness so I don't come upon anyone untoward stalking around back here. Reaching the corner of the barn, safety is within reach. There is a clearing and torches, and I think I can see the Tavern Door. But apparently while I was creeping around, someone has been creeping around behind me. There's a body behind me, and it smells worse than centaur droppings. Straightening up I realize I don't have my staff, Xena doesn't know where I am, and I may just die here and now.

'Hi.' I give a little wave as I turn to face a rather disgustingly hairy man that towers above me. He seems to be missing a few teeth as he leers down at me, a fishy smell wafting down. This is not going to be a fair fight, so I need to cheat. I swing my leg up with all my might and kick him in the groin. The air rushes out of him and his body collapses forward. I admire my work for a second then take off running towards the light and hopefully safety. I'm halfway to the tavern when I smack into a wall. Well not a wall, more like Xena.

'Something wrong?' Her eyebrow is cocked up as she grasps my arms, holding me up.

'Umm no.'

'Gabrielle?' She uses the 'I know you're lying so just tell me' tone.

'Well there was this really big guy that kinda smelled like fish and I kicked in the groin and then I ran and now I'm here.' I smile up at her like it was no big deal.

'Where is he?' She starts scanning the area behind me.

'I'm pretty sure he's still where I left him.' I can't help but be a little satisfied with myself. Xena grins at me.

'Come on, it's cold out here.'


	6. Chapter 6

How We Work 6

I'm sitting on the fur in front of the fire trying to write something on my scroll, but I can't. Xena's eyes are boring holes into my back, though she hasn't said a word since we returned. So I guess I have to be the decisive one, the one to make all the first moves. Turning, I face her. She is laying on her side, head propped up on her elbow on the bed.

'So Xena, what did your mom say.' She regards me for a moment before sitting up, running her hand through her long black hair.

'She told me not to screw it up.' I try not to grin.

'That's all?' She's swallowing hard.

'There was a couple of other things.' She's looking down at her hands. Getting up, I put my scroll down and sit next to her on the bed, crossing my legs under me.

'Want to tell me?' I place my hand on her back, trying to comfort her. Finally she looks at me.

'Do you think I'm going to hurt you?'

'Not intentionally.' This isn't the answer she was looking for. 'Xena, no one's perfect; I'm sure I'll hurt you. You can't be afraid of things that haven't happened.' There's pain in her eyes that I don't think I can take away.

'But I don't want to be the one to cause it.' I reach up to her cheek. Sometimes she's so vulnerable.

'Xena, there's nothing you can do about that, as long as you don't run away and you always come back.' She gives me a fraction of a nod. I try to break the tension. 'So am I going to have to be the aggressive one in this relationship?' I grin as a smile spreads across her face.

'You? Aggressive?'

'Yeah well I can't wait forever for you to kiss me.' Her eyes narrow as her grin turns mischievous.

'Xena Warrior Princess is not shy.'

'Not from my experience.' I look away as if in boredom.

'Oh really?'

'Yeah.'

'Well fine then.' She turns and lies down, facing away from me.

'Hey!' That was rather rude. I shove at her back and I can hear her snicker. 'I think I'll just find another room to sleep in.' I start to get off the bed but before I make it a few inches she grabs my wrist and yanks me down on my back. 'Yes?' She props herself over me, a hand on either side of my head.

'If you want aggressive….?' Her face has this feral look that I've seen when she's in the heat of battle or the heat of other things.

'Yeess.' I fear I may be getting into something I'm not entirely prepared for. Her tongue slides across her lips as if there's a tasty meal before her. If I didn't say I was scared, I'd be lying. But if I didn't say I was excited, that would be an even bigger lie. My heart is beating faster, but I'm trying desperately not to show it in my face or my breathing.

'I don't think you're ready.' Her voice is low and dripping in lust.

'Maybe it's you who isn't ready.' It's like the sexuality that exudes from her is seeping into me and I can't help but play along. Her eyebrow cocks up and she bites her bottom lip. Her eyes are sweeping up and down my body as if taking inventory.

'You're playing with fire bard.'

'I'm not afraid to get burned warrior princess.' We both glare at each other for a minute in complete silence; I can't even hear my own breathing. Then our lips come together in a crush, both of us forcing our tongue into the others mouth in a desperate attempt at control. It's not only that we are fighting for control; we're fighting for ownership over each other. Crazy I know, considering who we are, but that's what it comes down to.

My hands grasp the straps of her leather top and I pull her into me. We're moaning and groaning and making noises I've never heard before as we roll, arms and legs tangling and untangling. Then we want more, we want skin. Our hands move furiously to take our clothes off so we can press against each once skin to skin; both of us up on our knees with hands exploring whatever we can reach of the other. Our lips begin to migrate down to necks and chests and the sounds we make get more exotic and more enticing.

This is already more than I could ever have dreamed and we've barely done anything. Xena pushes me back against the bed, her stomach pressing down between my legs with a pressure I've not felt before. She slides up and down as her mouth captures my nipple, sucking as her tongue flicks rapidly across it. One hand grabs savagely at her hair while my other grabs for anything to hold onto. The feeling is so intense I can't even breath.

I'm suddenly invaded by a completely new sensation as I feel her fingers literally jam into me. The sound that comes out of me is long and strangled and I'm sure I'll be embarrassed later. It takes a second for my breathing to return but I'm left gasping as she moves at a break neck pace, and hard. My body feels like it's on fire then suddenly it's as if something explodes in me. I yell, I know I do but I can't hear it. My body jerks up into her, my head pushes back into the bed. I'm not sure how long it takes for reality to come back to me, but when the world comes back Xena has her arms wrapped around me.

'Aggressive enough?' I clear my throat a few times.

'Can't tell by just one time.' She chuckles a little and nips at my ear. Her forehead is pressed against the side of my head, and I can hear her steady breathing. 'Is it always like that?' My voice is hoarse, and I admit I am embarrassed with my earlier noise making.

'Not that I've had.'

'So next time could be like Tartarus?' She chuckles again.

'With you, I don't think it could ever be like that.' Well that makes me feel a little better.

'Will this change how we do things? On the road I mean.' She sighs, her head presses more into mine.

'I can't tell you. We can't let anyone know, that's for sure.'

'It's not like people don't already use me as bait.'

'Yeah but they will do much worse things to you, trust me.' I hadn't thought of that.

'Xena.'

'Hmmm?'

'This feels right.'

'It does.'


	7. Chapter 7

How We Work 7

I'm slightly bleary eyed and hunched over the bar. This was meant to be a vacation but I think I'm getting sick. Take a break once and look what it gets you.

'Honey you don't look so good.' Cyrene's hand is on my forehead. 'You're burning up. Where's Xena?' I shrug my shoulders, barely. I can't even lift my head to look up at her. 'I am going to give her a piece of my mind. Come on, let's get you up to bed.' She wraps one of my arms around her shoulder.

'I'm fine, really.' My voice sounds funny from my stuffed nose.

'You are far from fine. Come on, we'll get you into bed and I'll get you some soup.' I can barely keep my eyes open. I think I'm in a sauna, my eyelids feel hot.

I'm in bed and stripped to my chemise before I know it. Cyrene is talking to me but the echoing of her voice is a little distracting. The walls look like they're moving too.

My eyes close and when I open them again the room is dark and there's a little purple man waving at me, so naturally I wave back. A head appears over my shoulder. I guess Xena has been sitting next to me in the bed.

'Where'd you come from, you weren't here a second ago.'

'Gabrielle, you've been asleep all day.' Her hands are feeling my forehead, my cheeks, my neck.

'No, I just closed my eyes for a second.' She must be delirious. 'Why are we in a sauna?' I can feel myself being lifted up, the floor is moving by below me. 'Xena, am I flying?' There's a little chuckle as I manage to turn finding her body. Her arms are hooked securely under me, and despite her warmth, it feels good. She begins whispering to me.

'I'm going to put you in a cold bath.' I can hear someone else talking to her and she responds, but it sounds so far away. 'You might not like this, but we need to get your fever down.' I'm being lowered down, clothes and all into a tub, this I know. The shock of the cold water against my burning skin wakes me immediately. I gasp and flail a little but strong hands hold me down. I see Cyrene now, at one side holding me while Xena is on the other. My body is shaking uncontrollably as I'm stuck between states of hot and cold.

'Xena, what's happening?' My teeth are chattering, but some sanity is coming back to me.

'You're sick sweetheart.' I smile a little at that little word, sweetheart. 'Half the village is sick. A trader came through half dead and passed whatever he had on to everyone in Amphipolis.' Damn traders.

'Shouldn't you go help them?' I know she has healing skills, she can help.

'Gabrielle, they have a healer here, they don't need me but you do.' I watch as Cyrene leaves. 'Hey look at me.' She gently guides my chin towards her. 'I'm not going anywhere till you feel better.' I smile as best as I can with teeth that are chattering and a body that is shaking.

'Was there a little purple man in our room?' She laughs.

'No, I think that was your fever.'

'Oh,ok.' I didn't really believe he was there, I was just making sure. My eyes close as my head falls against the edge of the tub. The shivering of my body is causing water to splash everywhere but Xena stays close, not bothered by the cold.

'Mother's going to get you something to wear, and we're going to see if you can eat something.' Her voice is gentle and soothing.

'I'm not hungry.' Though at some point I was dreaming of eating a whole pig, maybe that's why I'm not hungry now. She just mumbles something at me while pouring water over my head. 'How long do I have to sit in here?'

'Until you stop feeling like you've been sitting in the middle of a campfire.' Cyrene walks back in and they go off into a conversation that I can't follow for the life of me. I swear that little purple man is in the corner looking at. With the combined effort of Xena and her mother, I'm dried, changed, and deposited back into my bed. I can't keep my eyes open, they feel so heavy, like something is tugging them down. Someone's fingers are on my forehead, sweeping away my bangs, then I drift off into fevered dreams once more.

Somehow I manage to force my eyes open. I don't know how long I've been asleep, but it's dark and quiet, aside from the occasional dog baying at the moon. Xena is fast asleep on her side facing me, an arm draped across my stomach. I don't feel quite as hot, but my body aches as if I've just been through a battle; even my ears hurt, not sure how that's possible though.

Xena's hand comes up, touching my forehead then my neck. 'Temperature's gone down.' She stirs, sitting up looking at me with concern. 'How do you feel?'

'Well I haven't seen that purple guy.' I manage a small smile as she chuckles.

'You need to eat something.' She grabs a bowl of the table next to me. 'It's cold, but you have to get something down.' Xena lifts a spoon up to my lips and I feel a cool broth slide down my parched throat. My stomach responds with growls and grumbles, but they are happy sounds as its been empty for too long.

She feeds me a little at a time till it's all gone, then deposits the bowl back on the table. Sitting up against the headboard, she shifts me, putting my head in her lap. I can feel her fingers drift through my hair as my eyes drift closed.

'Should we tell my parents? Or I mean should I?' I feel her chest rise and fall as she sighs.

'That's up to you. We already know what they think of me. Do you want to make it more difficult?'

'I want them to accept, like your mother.' I hear her sigh.

'Our families come from different backgrounds. They believe different things. You might have to accept that it's hard for some people to change.' She's right, she's always right. 'Give it time, there's no rush to tell them.'

I can't keep my eyes open, I'm so weary and exhausted that I'm asleep soon after she speaks. My dreams are plagued with nightmares, most I don't remember, a few I do. Some are of my parents and Lilla, treating me as if I was the plague itself. A feeling of sadness overwhelms each dream, and in my sleep I cry silent tears.


	8. Chapter 8

How We Work 8

Sometimes we're awkward around each other, other times we can't be separated if Zeus himself tried. We're still trying to adjust to this new thing between us even though it's not so new anymore. I see couples walk around through town holding hands, kissing, just being in love and I so desperately want to have that. It's not something I will probably ever get though if I plan on staying with Xena. So I'll be living two lives, one in the open and one when no one's looking. If that's how it has to be, then so be it.

'Something wrong?' My eyes jerk up from my food, I hadn't realized I was staring at it, lost in my thought process this whole time. Xena's studying my face, waiting for me to respond.

'Oh, nothing I was just thinking.' I know I can't really brush her off, but I try and resume eating.

'Not about anything good.' She comments, pushing her empty plate away from her. I'm not sure how I would classify my thoughts. She leans back in her chair and continues her study of my features, trying to break the code of my silence.

'Are you not hungry dear?' Cyrene walks up, grabbing Xena's empty plate and looking down at me with concern.

'No, I think I'm still recovering.' It's a lie but I have no other excuse.

'Well you go get some rest then.' She gives me a smile before removing the dishes and walking away.

'I think I'll take her advice.' I give Xena a small smile as I leave the table, going up to our room. I am actually still quite exhausted; the fever had raged in my body for days though I was asleep for most of them. I pull my boots off getting under the blanket and closing my eyes. I'm not sure why the turmoil has hit me now. Up until now I've barely wavered in my steadfast belief that this is right. Maybe there was something in those fever dreams that I just can't remember, something that is seeded deep down in my concise nagging away at me. With time I hope it will just go away.

BOOM! The door crashes open, splintering on its frame. The sound causes me to jump out of the bed, but my brain isn't able to comprehend what is happening, just that there is yelling and I'm surrounded by noise. My world is suddenly spinning and I find myself on the ground, my lip bleeding, face stinging from a vicious blow. I start to comprehend what's going on, looking up at a monstrous thug with an evil sneer and spotty facial hair. I have no idea why he's here, and I don't see Xena anywhere. Panic is beginning to eat away at me as he slowly advances upon me. His intent is clear, as is the intent of the five men behind him. I crawl backwards till I hit the wall. There's nowhere for me to go, my staff is on the other side of the room; I'm defenseless and at their mercy. I watch helplessly has his big calloused hands reach down for me; there's nothing for me to do but scream.

I'm screaming and falling through the air for a split second before I hit the floor with a hard thud. My scream stopped by the groan now emanating from within as my hand rubs my forehead. Shit that hurt. The door slams open and I look to see a panicked Xena in the doorway, chest heaving from running up the stairs. She rushes over, hands searching me for injuries, inspecting the gash on my head.

'What happened?' She's worried and angry at the same time.

'I had a nightmare, I fell out of bed.' I blush a little embarrassed by the whole ordeal. She sighs in relief, helping me back up onto the bed.

'Must have been some nightmare.' She turns to her kit, looking for bandages and salve.

'It was.' I don't really want to relive it, and I hope I never have that particular one again. The very thought causes me to shiver in disgust. Her fingers are once again on my forehead, gently prodding.

'Not deep enough for stiches.' Oh goody. She cleans the cut before dabbing some salve over it, causing it to sting for a second. 'Did this dream have anything to do with what you've been thinking about?' She asks, putting her things away.

'I don't know, maybe.' The truth is, I don't know. Xena grabs a chair, flipping in it and sitting backwards so she's leaning against the back. I start to fidget uncomfortably. I don't really know what's going on in my head, how am I supposed to tell her?

'Want to tell me what the dream was then?' I don't, I really really don't.

'Ever since I've been sick, there's just been something bothering me. I can't put my finger on it, just…' What's the word I'm looking for here? 'Fear? Doubt? Reality I guess is a good word.' She looks at me a little confused.

'About?'

'This.' I can barely manage to look her in the eyes. She's nodding her head thoughtfully.

'Do you think it's a bad idea?'

'Oh God's no.' I rush over to Xena to reassure her that that's the furthest thing from my thoughts. Crouching down in front of her, my hands clasp over hers. 'I would never think that. But it's like there's something I can't remember, something putting all these doubts in my head that I never had before.' My eyes search the floor as I rack my brain, trying to come up with a reason.

'Why won't you tell me what the dream was?' She whispers softly. Sighing, I sit down, back against the bed frame, hugging my knees to my chest.

'I was here, in bed when…. A man came in. He hit me and I fell to the ground. I didn't see you anywhere and my staff was across the room…I couldn't fight. Five other guys came in behind him, they all had this look.' I shudder, squeezing my knees harder against me as the image flashes before my eyes. 'I couldn't do anything, nothing.' I tear falls down my cheek. Xena's off her chair, arms encompassing me as she whispers how sorry she is in my ear. I always feel safe in her arms, like no one and nothing can possibly get to me.

'Xena, I'm afraid.' I whisper against her chest, my tears running down her leather.

'Maybe we should leave.' She offers. Her body is tense despite the warmth of her embrace.

'No, it was just a dream.' A pitiful response, something I don't believe with an ounce of my soul. I can feel that something bad is going to happen, I just don't know when or why. I can't be frightened away, I can't. We sit huddled together, locked in a tight embrace as the minutes drift slowly by. Eventually my body relaxes into her, the fear subsiding for the time being.

'Come on, you should eat.' She pulls me up as she stands, kissing my forehead in the process. I don't want to let her go, don't want to lose the safety net that is Xena. 'Gabrielle, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise.' She looks down at me, a small smile forming on her lips. I nod mutely, finally letting go, allowing her to have her space back. For Some reason, this is not a promise I think she'll be able to keep.


	9. Chapter 9

How We Work 9

There's a feeling of dread within me. I don't know if it's that small ability I have for foresight, or maybe I'm just paranoid, but something is off. Xena has been trying to act like nothing is wrong, but when she thinks I'm not looking I can see the worry in her eyes. She feels it too, probably more than I do. The tavern is nearly empty; the night is quiet and cold. Taking a chance I grab her hand, pulling her up the stairs behind me. She gives in surprisingly easy, her fingers tangling with mine.

We get into the room and she twirls me pushing me back against the door effectively closing it. One hand locks it, the other sweeps from my chin down to my neck. I love the gleam in her eyes; it's uninhibited and feral. If feels like it's been so long since I last saw that in her eyes.

'Are you sure you don't want to leave? Go see your family?' Her voice is quite as she leans in close to me. I'm mesmerized by the movement of her lips, the words she is saying barely making sense to me.

'I'm sure.' My hands slide around her leather bound waist. At a moment like this I wish she wasn't wearing the clothes of a warrior.

'I'm worried.' She confesses.

'I know.'

'You're not?'

'A little.' What can I do about nothing? 'Can't we just forget about it?' Her jaw clenches, nostrils flare briefly. Finally she relaxes and her face softens again. She pushes herself away from the door, sitting in a nearby chair so she can take her boots off.

'I wish I could always keep you safe.' She murmurs, hunched over untying her boots.

'No one can do that.' I walk around lighting the candles that litter the tables and mantles. The room begins to brighten up with a soft light that shimmers off the walls. Strong arms encircle me from behind, soft lips touch my cheek.

'I can try.'

'One day you'll fail.'

'You can be depressing.'

'You know, no one's ever told me that.' I giggle as she squeezes me, pulling me back as she sits on the bed. Not surprisingly we're practically the same height with her sitting and me standing. I turn, my arms hanging over her shoulders casually as I look into her eyes. We grin at each other, trying to push away all those lingering feelings of uneasiness.

Her heals prop up on the wooden frame of the bed as she squeezes me between her thighs. Fingers play with my hair and I suddenly feel like I'm a teenager again, reliving those sweet moments out behind the barn with my sweetheart of the moment. Not that there were a lot.

Unlike those other times though, I lean in for the kiss. It tastes of the wine we'd been drinking all night, a little bit sweet and a little bit bitter. Her hands slide up my back, then back to the front of my top, fingers working to untie the lace the binds it closed. She could accomplish the task in seconds if she wants, but she draws it out, taking her time.

My tongue explores the roughness of her mouth; she seems to even have scars there. The contrast between us is so huge that sometimes it amazes me, but then I think it must be the same between any man and woman. One rough and one soft, one forgiving and one unyielding; though that is probably a simplistic view.

She slides my top off my shoulders and I let it drop to the floor. Calloused hands slide over my shoulders and down my arms, pulling them out so she can link her fingers with mine. She brings them in close between us, in a prayer fashion. My lips break from hers as I need to gasp for air. My eyes stare down at her in amazement. Somehow she manages to communicate so much with a simple glance.

She leans in, nibbling at my neck causing me to giggle.

'That tickles.'

'I know.' I can feel her smiling as she increases her attack, making sure to hold onto me tightly. I have no way of escaping.

'Xena!' I'm wriggling in her grasp as she tortures me; it's a good torture, but torture all the same. She finally relents, giving me a big ass grin as her eyebrow cocks way up on her forehead. 'Come on, take this off.' I purposefully lean fully into her, my hands grasping at her back, trying to undo her leather bodice. She does nothing to help me, just sits there with a smirk on her face as my fingers fumble to work at her clasps. It's a lot harder to do when you can't see. I toss her leathers away as she wraps her arms around me, mouth sinking into my neck.

My fingers claw their way through her hair, tangling in the dark tresses as her warm mouth sucks my neck, bruising the skin. But she doesn't linger there for long, soon moving down nipping at the edges of my breasts. Her tongue teases at a nipple before her mouth completely engulfs it. I throw my head back as my body arches into her, hands still grasping onto her head to keep me standing; her arms still wrapped tight around me.

And again she doesn't linger long as she begins to place long, languid kisses across my chest and stomach. I tug her back, forcing her to look up at me and allowing me access to plump lips. Leaning in my mouth captures hers with determined ferocity. A messy tumult of lips and tongues as our hands move roughly over each other's bodies.

Suddenly we are both falling to the ground, the tavern trembling as if it's about to fall apart. A noise I've never quite heard before.; like an avalanche as it comes roaring down a mountain, though so much greater. Somehow we manage to get to our feet, stumbling our way to the window. The sight before me takes me completely off guard. The sky is filled with fire and ash, blackness is descending upon us.

TBC Working With Fire


End file.
